As you grow older you start to look at things from a totally different point of view. You realize the things your parents probably went through, but shielded you from. You realize what a bitchy teenager you used to be. You stop dwelling on small things, because when you look at the bigger picture you know that there are many other colossal things to stress about. You realize what's important. When you're up in life you learn things. Things about life, about the world, about about yourself, about people. When your circumstance allows you to hit rock bottom, it changes you and you learn even more, but overnight. I'm starting to think that at any age circumstance is life's biggest teacher, and how you respond to different circumstances is an even bigger realization of your character and who you are becoming. I've learned the most about myself through the worst situations, and right at the beginning of the year when everything is supposed to be peachy and sweet.
Life will not always be peachy, and if it was we'd never appreciate the liberation of getting through rough times. Now I've been sitting with this for some weeks actually, and I guess I was having a hard time putting what I felt into words, but I knew once I was ready the words would come and I've been looking forward to the moment when I could share some of the things I've learned so far in 2018.
I don't think I've ever really understood the true meaning of being courageous until now. It seems like something you have to have to make it through scary situations, but there's more to it than that. Encouraging someone is like instilling the will into them that they need but don't have, so having courage is like instilling that same will into yourself. Courage is important, because at some point you're going to be broken and the journey ahead is going to be foggy and uncertain, and that courage inside you is going to lead the way to get you through.
In Church I learned that sometimes we allow our negative feelings about something or towards something prevent us from moving forward. Feels are inevitable, but even if you feel hurt, angry or discouraged, feelings can't kill you. There's truth in this, because there are times when it really does feel like the way we feel during a situation is killing us when it's too hard to bare. But sometimes you have to swallow your feelings at that moment or for how ever long you need to, to stay focused on what your plan is to overcome. Feelings will not kill you!
What are you willing to do for the things you want in life? What are you willing to sacrifice? What if you had to sacrifice your vices, your alone time, your comfort, your stability? Would you do it? You have to know your reasons to do what you have to do, and for you. Always.
I don't know too many things about love, but the heart wants what it wants and it can be consuming. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve, don't be too transparent. Listen, reciprocate, empathize and support and never let your own emotions get in the way of hearing someone's point of view. Give and receive love, but never let your love be abused and misused. Love yourself first, foremost, and fully, no matter what it takes.
Sometimes its hard to accept the cards you've been dealt in life, even I'm guilty of being envious of things that other people were blessed to have and I wasn't. I guess its only natural, but privilege in life doesn't mean anything if you take it for granted rater than use it to your advantage. You cannot dwell on the things that you don't have in life, because you're given what you need in life. Whether it be money, material things, drive or ambition, you have everything you need inside of you to be all you can be.
I wasn't raised in a church, but I was definitely raised to pray. I used to only do it because I was told to though, so I never really experienced the sheer power in prayer or the miracles that could happen when you stay faithful to God. I never knew the pure joy of deliverance, or the feeling of knowing that I'd been delivered until God was the only one I could depend on. I had never even experienced Joy, until I started to depend on God, and now I know that He always knows what's in your heart. There's peace and happiness when you find a Church you like, a gospel song that touches you or a bible verse that speaks to you. I'm proud that I have come to faith on my own and on my own terms, and without the pressure of anyone's influence, because there's beauty in prayer and spiritual awakening.
The grass isn't always greener on the other side. Our perceptions of what's good for us always gets in the way and you can't let perception blind your reality. When the road gets rocky, don't always be so quick to assume that a decision that works well for the short term will also work well in the long run. Be patient, persevere, and learn to wait for greater chances for greater outcomes.
The idea of change used to be scary for me and its true that in the past dealing with change has been very uncomfortable, but through adaption comes evolution. I've learned that you have to adapt to every situation you find yourself in. See the positive and the opportunities that change presents, because that's the only way you'll survive. I mean, even animals do it.
"I've learned the most about myself through the worst of situations, and right at the beginning of the year when everything is supposed to be peachy and sweet."
There's courage in strength, strength in sacrifice, sacrifice in love, patience in faith, adaption in privilege. In life nothing is ever guaranteed or guaranteed to stay peachy and sweet, but be fruitful when life starts throwing you lemons and just make lemonade. You have no choice! 💋