I got fired from Hand and Stone yesterday, apparently I wasn't performing well, because I don't put on this elaborate performance for the clients to get them to sign up for memberships. "Your work ethic is great, and you could be great at sales, I know you could, but you're too nice." That's what they always say. Well I'm sorry, I am who I am.
That's the problem, I'm uncomfortable when I'm not me and they all want me to be somebody I'm not. This is not a show, I'm not a character in my own life, and sometimes I feel like I'm a whole character on someone else's show. They want me to be fake. They want to tailor me for their brand. Well I'm sorry, I'm my own brand, all I know how to be is me.
Everybody gets the same me.
I'm the same me at work, at home, at church, in the street, in school, wherever. I'm me, period.
I'm a writer.
So what did I do on my first day fired? I went and treated myself to a spa pedicure and a full set and got back to work. On my blog.
I'm just tired, and I'm a little angry too, because I wish everybody would stop trying to censor me. They want me to censor my blog, and what I say. They want me to be careful of what employers or family members might see. Well I'm sorry, I talk about my life here, this is real life here.
I keep telling myself, I should chill because I've been going off, but really this is nothing new to me. This is everything that's been on my mind and everything that's been left unsaid. Every time I bite my tongue, the unspoken words come back to haunt me and I have no choice but to shake them loose.
Now I've spilled the beans and my thoughts are spilling everywhere, its hard to contain them. Its hard to contain my individuality and the fucks I don't give about anything other than my passions. But I am a Gemini, an air sign at its finest too, so I should've known I could get like this. I'm a deep, deep thinker. Sometimes I get caught in my different perspectives and it makes it hard to think straight, and then the indecision leaves me stagnant. But I enjoy sitting on clouds, day dreaming, and sometimes its hard to keep my feet on the ground; but when I hit the floor believe I take off running.
The devil has been working lately, it's been a series of unfortunate events that had me tripping but, that's fine. I'm smiling inside, because I know on the other side of this, there's something crazy that I'm being prepared for. All of these storms and craziness that's swept through my life, and I come out triumphant every time. Empowered through speaking my truth.
I've been feeling inspired lately, seems that the stars are finally aligned and amazing things are happening. My mindset has become more of a make a decision and make it with my whole heart, kind of thing, and if I fail I bet I learned a valuable lesson so I accept it.
I should've freed my soul a long time ago, because once I started living again, I felt alive. You do receive the energy you put out, and I wish I knew before, because I once I released these creative vibes, that's that I got back. You're in charge here, its all about balance and flow. What energy are you allowing to come into your life? What are you putting up with? When you find negative energy, you have to nip it, before it brings you down. Shift your focus.
I wear many hats, but there are very few that bring me peace and happiness. I've found that all my problems arise when I throw all my good energy into the things that aren't important to me, I feel shackled, and I'm left so burnt out I don't even have energy to give back to myself.
Well I'm sorry, not anymore.
I should've said what was on my mind a long time ago. I'm fired, and I don't know what's happening, but I feel good. The truth does set you free and this is real life here, speak it.💋