I am Anissa Lachelle
I never liked it much, but I feel like I’ve had to reintroduce myself to myself and to the world. It’s funny, because there’s something much more poetic about my name now. Maybe because there’s always been something poetic about me. Sounds like some free flowing mystery where you have to read, then reread again in between the lines to comprehend the bigger picture. Sounds like me. It’s as if this is who I was always destined to be. It’s taken me a long time to embrace this person, but there’s only a matter of time before you can hide no longer and your true self suddenly emerges.
Now I walk in who I am.
I got inspired to keep blogging my life’s journey after sharing my story in my blog Catfish in the Sea, it changed my life forever. Following publishing the blog, I was humbled by how many others then had the courage to open up and share their own stories with me. After realizing what power lies in truth, I vowed to always stay true to myself and to never be dismayed or lead astray again. There’s something about how when you give your authentic self, you attract that same energy back to you and back to the world.
Owning my role as a writer has brought me a lot of peace. It has allowed me to gain closure from many situations, it has provided me with support from others who have been through similar things, and it has allowed me to become a part of a community far greater than myself. It has given me a platform to always be able to speak my truth.
Words mean a lot to me.
They are what they are, they convey what they’re supposed to, and in a world where there’s absolutely no control you can control them. I try to choose my words wisely, because sometimes your word is all you have and you only get one chance to say what you mean.
I often think about if my word was all I had, how far I could go; but I think my word and my writing is all I have.
I lost writing for a while, and for years I kept quiet about what was going on in my mind. Now I keep wondering if I had never started writing again, what would’ve become of me. I would never have come back to this person who was buried deep down inside, the one who is fearless enough never to give up on a dream.
I’ve known for a long time that dreams were always somewhere in reach. When you grow up in a place where you’re surrounded by others who inspire you, who support you and who understand you and where your drive comes from, when they make it a part of you does too. I’m from Rahway, there aren’t many limitations of who you could become here. You could hop on a bus, a train, or a plane and expand your world in a heartbeat, nothings ever too far.
It’s been a long time coming, and a year ago I didn’t know what the outcome of sharing my story with the world would be or the impact that having the courage to open up about life could have on others. And now that I know, I feel like I have no choice but to keep going and keep moving forward.
It’s just a feeling, and a good one. It feels like passion. I don’t know, there’s something different about when all your endeavors start to revolve around sincerity and genuine connection. Your work becomes your play, you start to inspire others to chase their own dreams, your mind grows accustomed to peeking behind so many doors filled with opportunity. You start to feel free.
I want this forever.
I guess I didn’t realize it before, but I’ve been searching for her for a long as I can remember. She is Reminiss. I’m happy that I found her, because I like this person, I keep finding moments where I’m so proud of myself for showing up for myself, showing up for others and taking the time to explore myself and to get to know what dwells inside the real Anissa Lachelle.